"Now let's see... I think it's an.. oven!" he laughed out as the shiv cut through the tape surrounding the box.

His eyes twinkled like a kid's at Christmas as he pulled out yet another box from inside the huge one.

"Hmmm... I think you're playing tricks on me, Jackie"

He ripped off the flowerprinted giftwraping and was met with yet another challenge. Tape... and loads of it. Again he turned to his trusted friend, Sir Shivalot and cut through the tape. He opened the smaller box.

And found another box inside it.

"You have GOT to be KIDDING me!" he cried out flopping down on the couch, holding the box in his hands. He stared at.. trying to see through it with his non-existent x-rayvision.

"That's it! I can't stand it!"

He ripped the box open and his eyes went wide.

A book.

And a card.

He picked up the card.

"Dear Riddick. Happy Birthday. Enjoy the gift, though I'm sure you don't need the tips! Love Jack."

He lowered the card and picked up the book.

"100 ways to become a successful Pornstar!" the title read.

A booming laughter filled the room.


The End.